HELLO wolvez,

This week gone, is week one of my holidays. And I have decided that for my three weeks, i will spend each one focusing on an aspect of my craft to explore a bit more; RESURRECTION OF OLD LOVES/HOLISTIC REINVENTION. 

Week 1, was poetic justice. Spent the week breathing as a writer, and seeing as a poet. Its incredible what happens when you acknowledge and consciously give TLC towards one of your gifts.. I feel grounded and powerful in my words, and knowing their value. Because most of the time, I don’t see it.
With my writing, its mostly a response or consequence from me being directly affected by an issue, or its a way for me to organise the mess that is my brain.
It can be overwhelming, but I am grateful that I have more than one way to express everything that is and lives with me.
I want to reach people, many people. I so I guess, I have begun to return to old loves in a way to truly recruit every tool I have to get my messages across.
Less like motivation, more like a drive that never lets me rest.
Living up to what my birth name has planned for me..

I performed at a gig called ‘Decolonise The Night’, with fellow poets Hala (Cleo), Logan and Moody. The event was my first where I had taken part in the creation of it, and performed as a unit with these other poets without back-up or leadership from others. It was pretty amazing! I performed ‘Diamond Dogs’, ‘HipHop’$ Prophecy’, and ‘God Ble$$ America’.
Nothing less than exhilarating to have people, mostly strangers, listening and absorbing your work. We had open mic as well, and its insane how many people within arms-reach are on the same level of consciousness.. The people that attended that night really showed love and respect, and I was more than willing to give them my words/work/heart. Thanku.

I also performed at a high school hiphop dance competition called ‘Bring It On’. 
I wrote a poem called ‘HipHop’$ Prophecy’ for that specific crowd, and it was only the 2nd time I had performed it to a public space.
The stage, was MASSIVE. With hundreds of hiphop-luvin kids + adults, a crowd I was once a part of when I was in high school. It was surreal being back there, to speak in that context. It almost felt like I was performing to a younger version of myself.. overwhelming even. Even though the crowd was intense and loud, they were beautiful, and I have never experienced anything of that magnitude with spoken word before.
Experienced UNDENIABLE LOVE. Prophetic.
I will always speak to those kids..

Love to Shalom for the support and Shaki my sister for being my backbone sine day 1. <3

Its been intense/crazy/stressful/beautiful all at once. 
I love to speak, to write, to exchange with others. 
I learn so much from giving so much.
Videos will be up + will post ‘HipHop’$ Prophecy’ soon..
FUCK YEAH. 

Real Raw
Rap is rhythm and poetry. 
Rad,
JAHRA/John Bender

(Source: jahrager)

They speak
of genocides
and hate crimes
as if the unspeakable atrocities
are of legend and myth

As if
the acts themselves
never eroded
the marrow of the bones
that held YOUR families together 

As if
the evil
committed under the names of the self-righteous
are right where they need to be,
as d.o.bs and d.o.ds
suffocated and shelved in the pages of
history books

As if
history books
describe crimes in far away lands
and the hands that carved out constitutions
into the virgin valleys of humanity’s back
aren’t those of your ancestor,
your brother,
or your sister,
just some historical face who’s dead now

As if
the past doesn’t always repeat
and scars
are only memory deep
and the presence of racism is only relevant
in history

As if
injustice
is just a word
and ignorance is bliss

As if
TROY DAVIS
never existed!

Like people aren’t punished
for colour or creed!
When star spangled ropes are those
lynching lives on lies of liberty
‘GIVE IT TO ME OR GIVE ME DEATH!’ 
Do people even still say that anymore?

The land of the free,
for a limited time, terms and conditions apply

Everyone else, get in line
But the OSCARS
and SEANS
and TRAYVONS
and TROYS
don’t even try!
because you,
are less than everyone else here
Without cause or consent,
YOU, had to meet your demise early
Mistaking your hood for the grim reaper
Your blood
still isn’t payment enough
to star-gaze at this, American Dream

 And I don’t care
if the rest of this poem
is poetically
or politically perfect,
because it just needs to be said
Dirty laundry like this needs to be aired..

AMERICA:
So willing to save the lives
of Ugandan children
But not willing to save your own
flesh and blood

Tell me,
when a boy falls in a gated community
and no ones around
does anyone hear it?

When 17 year old TRAYVON MARTIN
managed to scrap
from the bottom of his bruising lungs
his last breath of strength
on this earth,
screaming
through terror and tears
for someone to just help him,
through the stronghold of ignorance manifested

Before the bullet
started and finished
carving into his flesh
a new term and condition
of living and dying
silencing
his screaming permanently 

Prompting self-serving,
so-called Samaritans
to dial S-O-S to only save their own souls,
through closed doorways
and closed eyes
does anyone still hear the echo of Trayvon’s cry?


Does anyone still hear the echo of his cry?


God, bless America.



__________________________




written by JAHRA ‘12 

(Source: jahrager)

[photo from performance of ‘Complete X’s and Incomplete Y’s]

Yo fellow wolves.

Just a quick observation..
I looked like I do everyday today, obviously I am dressed a little strangely/masculine/provocatively or over the top for some people. But I love how I dress, because personally, its a place of freedom for me.
Anyway, I walked past a group of school kids at the bus stop, [obviously young boys don’t know how to act with any dignity around older females], and I, just as I always do, ignored the rude individuals who said inappropriate things, including a particularly obnoxious girl. Their need for attention from me lead them to purposefully place themselves in my way, so as I was in a mood to be aggressive  and generally fucked off after a long day of dancing and class, I had to navigate and dodge my way through this group of idiots.
Usually, this shit happens alot and I don’t really give a fuck. And subtly show them my ‘unhappiness’ with their behaviour.
But after I walked past, and due to my non-reactive-ness, the boys said things like: 
‘Oh shes a bitch’, ‘Bro shes probably actually a guy’, ‘Nah shes lesbian as’, ‘She’s a guy and a girl mixed’, ‘what the fuck is she wearing?!’..blah blah.

First of all, what the FUCK is with people these days?!!?! SERIOUSLY.
Secondly, what the FUCK is wrong with visually challenging people to question what they think gender roles, sexuality, society roles and image are? So what if I look a little strange, or masculine. That shouldn’t alter anyone’s perception of me as a person. e.g being called a bitch or lesbian because of the way I dress. FTW.
Thirdly, I do get this sort of reaction alot from people, so I’m pretty used to it and can handle it in the moment pretty well. So that short rant is well over-due. Haha.

But I’m more concerned for people who aren’t accustomed to this behaviour, and for the kids themselves..

I am so sick, of people of difference being treated this way. Within, and beyond my world, there are those who brilliantly use their physical image as a vehicle and catalyst for change to occur within the minds of others. 
Because I look a little ‘different’, am mixed race, dress how i want without constraint, and can appear masculine because of my demeanor (which is a tool of protection as explained in my earlier blog with John Bender), peers and strangers become afraid and react in various ways. 

People condemn what they do not understand. 

I obviously challenge their structures and their seemingly ‘concrete’ perspectives on what they see to be ‘normal’ or ‘acceptable’. Not to mention challenging them on what it means to look like a woman, or to look desirable. No one should desire to be desirable, that shouldn’t be a priority for anyone.
And that fact that these boys are re-affirming to themselves and other males and females around them that being desirable is of first importance in image, is really, really scary..
No doubt society and especially media dictate alot of the values these kids and this generation are picking up.. fuck it all.

Whats more disturbing though, is that they are openly destructive with their behaviour, and by not accepting or attempting to understand difference in another fellow human, how can they in society, or with the rest of humanity?
If you can’t see yourself in every other human being, how else do you relate, and experience something with another person truthfully? And by bringing down someone else because of an element that person posses that they are afraid of, they in turn are validating a close-minded opinion of whats ‘acceptable’ in their world. 
How does anything evolve if those who are essential to the process, are against it?
And another concern, is that bullying, is just as vivid and blatant as it ever was. Kids are taking these destructive influences and feeding self-destructive behaviour, which is causing youth and young people to crumble under the pressure of outside torment, and inside over-whleming expectations. 
I could just write endlessly about this subject to be honest (not that any of this probably makes sense..).

And as we all know, everything and everyone in the Universe is connected. Everything you do, affects everyone else. And positivity and negativity can both uplift or devour people. Ignorance breeds ignorance.

I just wanted to record this observation as a way to provide a simple example of how tolerated behaviour and close-mindedness like this random reaction from people, could potentially snowball into more disturbing and discriminatory forms of ignorance.
Sexism, Bullying, Homophobia, Racism..etc, its all connected.

“All oppression is connected you dick!” 

I hope more than anything I learn more about myself and others through this.
I hope you take something from it too.
I will probably continue this sometime later.
FTW.

Rad,
John Bender 

(Source: jahrager)

I, am a descendant of WOLVES.
Bloodlines of fangs and fantasies
Stemming from the veins of past kings
Both nightmare and dream,
I, am a PROPHECY
That continues to scratch threes into throats,
And howl at full moons, because halves, aren’t enough for us.

And by us I mean ‘we’
Equaling to three but not limited to more
Because more often than not, we are limited by doors
But these locks won’t hold much longer
As our huffs and puffs get stronger
And you WILL be blown away
Carved away, by these paws
I carved birthmarks, into my pores
We share with you these brandings and battle scars 
That are still forming
Still burning
We are still yearning to be heard,
So instead of crying ‘wolf’,
We’ve decided to start screaming.

And while we lick our wounds,
And roam shallow streets
Getting lost in this industry
Being herded into pigs, or sheep
And its hard to disguise my claws and teeth,
Trying to fit into these clothes that look, like a sheep
I am discovering
That this game of follow the leader, is fucking with me
And our packs’ noses are leading us differently

Our gaze is directed towards starry skies,
And the supernovas in our eyes, remind me
That diamond dogs like us are made in pounds of stardust
You see,
We are villains without sins
Heroes without recognition
Warriors without protection
Leaders without a nation
Preachers without religion
Killers without conviction
Creators without limitation
And you?
You just might be one of us
Well,
Are you?
 

_________

Written by JAHRA, ‘12 

(Source: jahrager)

Whadduhp people,
aside from everything else right now, to distract my very distracted mind, i will describe a work i collaborated on with friends in the holidays that was in a dance festival called ‘Short and Sweet’.
the work was called ‘H*A*M’. [reference to Yeezy and Jay, yes i know, awesome.]

my fellow wolves and i, Rose and Lucy, collaborated on this work, as a way to develop and keep busy during the holidays. it was a rad experience.
my friends and i had affectionately taken the term ‘Wolf Pack’ and called ourselves that, because we felt it was a fitting term for the bond we shared, and in an industry as bitchy and cut-throat as ours, where sometimes you don’t know who your true friends are, we decided to take on a term to help us stick together, and gain strength.
our piece was divided into three sections. H, A, and M. 
in short, the work consisted of the idea of differing perceptions of the ‘truth’, and how groups and individuals in society have their own version of the truth. also it focused on how our idea of the truth is manipulated and altered due to media and other worldy influences. this was represented in a continuous film/montage of different figures in the last century, from political, to pop cultural.
the first version of the film had them with their faces masked with wolf faces (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z—NuUu8dGs&list=UUsw9ixLUp3hBhtJqTN_1GWw&index=1&feature=plcp), then the second version shown later on in the work had their faces uncovered (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVqy5epbYyQ&list=UUsw9ixLUp3hBhtJqTN_1GWw&index=2&feature=plcp).
the music, was chosen to represent the ‘heroes and villains’ of music, or what certain people perceive them to be, which was Wolfgang Mozart, and Odd Future Wolf Gang. the hero and villain depending on the viewer. 
we also tied in elements of fantasy and how the character of the wolf is typically used in fairytale as the villain. so we incorporated the colour red into our top layer of costume, which we put on while performing. we had a red cardigan, red checkered lumber-jack type shirt, and a red hoodie. they were hanging on a coat hanger on the corner of the stage until needed.
we also incorporated the use of wolf masks, at first being on the back of our heads (masking our identity), then moving them to our thighs while dancing, then trading them for the red tops and hanging them on the coat hanger. i think the symbolism speaks for itself. lol.
our choreography consisted of political and symbolic hand gestures merged into movement, a phrase which contained elements of strength, powerful qualities, and being ‘beast’ or putting on a wolf exterior. then the phrase was reversed into a more slow version, which unraveled intentions in the original version. (much harder than it seems, and even harder to explain). 
there was also a section of spoken word that i wrote, and will post after this, which directly linked the concept to our industry of dance. it talks about us having to be our own heroes, and how even though we don’t fit into preconceived expectations, we are enough for ourselves as we are, and as we transform as artists. the poem is called ‘Diamond Dogs’, which i thought was quite fitting. 
overall its hard to describe the work as it had ALOT of layering in it, but hopefully we will get to develop it this year, and then be able to record it and post it. (or even better, if you live in auckland, just come and watch!) 
as it was our first out-of-unitec work as students, and we did it on our own, and in a rushed period of time, i am very, very proud of this work, and proud of my fellow wolves who i collaborated with on it to create it.
and i cannot wait to develop it more this year. c:

and if interested, there is a short review of our work from theatreview.org .nz:

”..Rose Philpott, Jahra and Lucy Beeler presented H*A*M. For me this was the highlight of the evening. Touching on the political, interweaving projected images of nearly every famous politician, religious figure, activist and revolutionary over the past century (covering and uncovering these iconic faces with wolf masks), text and movement merged with ideas of conformity, political ideology and resistance. I want to see more, please.” - Reviewed by Rosemary Martin

stoked at opportunity. overwhelmed by passion.
blessed to have friends like those wolves.

Wolfgang
Golfwang
Reveal
Them
ALL

ARUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
Rad,
John Bender

(Source: jahrager)

I know why I was born female.
I know why, I was born female. 
Feeling the sudden syncronisation of the manifestion of my cells’ and my soul’s purpose,
I know the reason
I was born with complete X’s and not an incomplete Y. 
But why do I, sense a wall of hand-written lies,
Preventing me from unraveling myself, and telling MY story right?
Because, I am right. 
And the fight I have to endure, is laughed off by THEM
Time and time again, I am challenged to challenge the system, that trades my brain, for my breasts
In an attempt to test, me in some God-forsaken fuscia flowered dress!
So I can impress, a future suitor
Whos all suited up,
Greased up,
But not grown up enough, to understand that there is more to me, than what you can physically see
And I am not, turning over my brain or my body,
To somebody else’s expectations of what a WOMAN is meant to be.
Regardless of the fact that I am burdened with pre-conceived statistics,
The fact is, is that I was BORN free
But due to a systematic cover-up, women are taught that they are not free.

Confined,
To our physical worth
My sisters and me, are said to be, nothing but
Bikinis, boobs, butts
Dolls, objects, legs, faces,
Hoes, bitches, bimbos
Mood-swinging, Pms-complaining,
Booty-shaking, love-faking,
Baby-making, heart-breaking, dinner-making,
Just there for the taking!
But still, never taken seriously
But how can we be when the image being sold to you, is so far from the fucking truth,
And has been shoved, so far down OUR throats,
That we don’t even know, its decades-old vomit WE are still WANTING to choke on.
But don’t get it twisted
This text is not aimed at every male that’s ever existed, 
Its only interested in exposing the men, and the women,
Who degrade and parade women like slabs of quickly expiring meat.
Consumer and consumed
Abuser and abused
Confuser and confused by the violating looks received on a daily basis, without consent
Oh, but you know that look?
Squinting with a smirk, smirking with a growl
Stare dragging across your flesh, sinking into your skin
Biting onto your body,
Uninvited, violating eyes and hands
Mentally undressing your walk
And don’t even try to spit the same excuse that,
“She asked for it, with the way she was dressed, she must of wanted it”,
NO ONE ASKS TO BE ASSAULTED
There was no consent

And WEAK is the word
Tagged and bar-coded, on OUR bodies
These, sacred bodies
That are rated, raped,
Used, refused, reduced, abused,
And re-used, until someone decides on the expiry date
The only expiry that should be happening is the expiration of the expectations
Put on young women to live up to a dead standard,
That exists only to keep us in one place
Half existing, half erased
Because God only knows that if we were ever taken seriously,
Or valued on our personality,
We might have some equality in this male dominant society

Its gonna take the MAN in me, to conquer this insanity
And its gonna take the WOMAN in you,
To extinguish lies, and fuel the truth
And fuel the few, the few who still know
That this sexist way of thinking
Is NOT the way love goes.

- Written by Jahra ‘11/’12 

(Source: jahrager)